In the 11 years of coaching people and 6 years of teaching others to become coaches and educating them on the power of our minds, I have come to observe that most problems, if not all, come down to one very important aspect. And that is how much one has to deepen self-love.

I have asked many people what self love means to them and here are some of the answers:romantic young girl with big heart

Looking after mind, body and soul.

Spending time doing whatever makes you happy.

Respect yourself.

Unconditional love, no matter what!

Believing in yourself.


Sometimes saying no.

Forgiving myself.

Not beating yourself up but laughing at yourself kindly.

Making every effort to like yourself.

These are all really great responses to a concept that can be quite misunderstood.

Self love is not about being too self indulged or being pretentious. Rather, self love is such a birth right and preface to how we express ourselves in the world and also too, how we experience our lives. If we don’t have enough self love, it can manifest in many different ways, having detrimental effects in many areas of our lives.

For example; how is your health?

Do you have the most supportive and loving relationships?

How is your financial situation?

How connected do you feel with yourself in ways that you can make great decisions?

Do you set inspiring goals and achieve them?

Are you comfortable to ask for what you need and want, and are you able to receive those gracefully?

Since we all have so many things to focus on in life, different roles to fulfill and areas that can always be improved for living a happier life, let’s focus step by step on

The 7 Different Levels to Deepen Your Self Love

1 heart-speech Knowing and Living True to Your Passion & Purpose!

It’s having a big picture in mind for yourself, a deeper meaning to life where you know how you fit into it all and where you feel your place is in this world. It’s good for us to explore this as it gives new perspectives, bigger insights and allows meaning, passion and purpose to be fulfilled in your life. Knowing your authentic energies and you unique message you have to contribute to the world, this allows for great self esteem and self love!

2 heart-speech Trusting Your Intuition and Hearing It When It Speaks to You!

Having intuition allows us to have flow, trust, faith and love for ourselves and in life. We connect to our intuition when we go BEYOND our emotions and intellect. Not above or aside of our emotions and intellect but beyond them, meaning both of these have been emptied out and listened to first. Do this by writing down how you feel about this particular event/topic and then write down all of your logic and thoughts about it. After this, be willing to be open to your inner intelligence and listen to that voice that knows what is best for you.

3 heart-speech  Communication with Yourself and with Others, Expressing Your Truth Confidently with What is Right for You and What is Not.

This is coming from a place of the most love for yourself. Once you know Your Passion & Purpose, and you are Trusting Your Intuition, it is time to communicate effectively to others about what you will accept and what you won’t allow. This leads us into the next level which is;

4 heart-speech Having Supportive & Loving Relationships in Your Life!

I think this one is really self explanatory and not always easy when we might feel we have to hold on to certain relationships since you have history together. Have you been allowing anyone to cross your boundaries that make you feel small, unseen and not understood? If you do have any of these types of relationships than it is time to put yourself first and surround yourself with those who life you higher, remind you of your brightest light that you are and see you for all your glory! There may be some relationships that you in your life that are not like this and at the same time you feel you can’t cut them out of your life completely. Here are some things you can do instead;

a)  when you are communicating with this unresourceful person, see yourself surrounded by a bubble of light and love that is connected to your higher self and imagine that all of the negative energy that affects you is now bouncing off your bubble and simply goes back into the light.

b) realise that this person’s negativity is not actually about you! It will be about what they have experienced in life and they really can’t help it with the lack of resources they have to not project that on to you. Know this and practice a) above…and if you feel that this person influences you too much than it might be worth doing a Matrix Therapies process to cut the cords from this energy.

Now this all leads into;

5 heart-speech Knowing your Boundaries and Sticking to Them! 

Knowing what you believe in most, what message you express to others as to who you are and what you stand for; when you know this and you love yourself enough to be true to this, it’s important to make sure you are standing in your power and allow for only supportive people to cross your path.

What you allow others to do around you is teaching them how to treat you. Gently, step by step, break the patterns of the past such as over compensatory people pleasing and reteach those you love how to treat you better. This of course means you need to treat yourself how you want others to respect you!

6 heart-speech Learn to Master Your Emotions and Respect Receptivity! 

 Yep! Respect Receptivity! When you don’t receive compliments, gifts or any form of energy exchange from another or from yourself you are simply not respecting the divine order of manifesting goodness in your life. In order to create and truly contribute in your world, it is extremely important to understand that in receiving you are giving a gift to another.

When you accept a compliment from another you are giving them respect of their opinion and allowing them to feel good in giving it!

When you accept pleasure in your life you are allowing the giver to receive the gift in the giving to you. It’s a cyclic energy form. In receiving you are giving and in order to give you must receive. The seed needed to receive fertilisation before birth was given so please respect yourself enough and others to receive pleasure in all it’s forms.

Here it is also important to respect your emotions, even the ones that don’t feel good. Listen to the message that they are wanting to tell you and then let them pass through you. Repressing your emotions or covering them up is so damaging to your health. All of your emotions have lessons to give you so listen clearly. Which brings me to the last level of Self Love;

7 heart-speech Look After Your Physical Health, Your Financial Health and Your External Environment!

These all take those small steps to improvement. Constant and never ending improvement in learning to love who you are to always be putting focus into improving your physical health, learn how to manage your money best and to look after your beautiful environments that you are nurtured by.

Finally, Self Love is not something you either have or you don’t have, it is a beautiful journey in deepening your love you have for who you are and creating a life you love!

Each week I will be blogging specifically on each of these 7 levels in more detail so look out for these.

Until then,

All my love and faith in your potential,

Lauren xx